Nuffnang

Saturday, 6 August 2011

My Inlaws Have Unfriended Me on Facebook!

Should I care?



I'm feeling ambivalent.  At first I had a bit of a giggle, but overnight I have thought more about it.  It's a real statement, I mean why bother?  I am wondering what prompted it.  Maybe it is about a Facebook purge like suggested here.  Maybe, there is an internal O family war going on that I don't know about?  I figure it has to do with sibling relationships rather than me, but I still want to know.  These are my boys family after all.

I don't have sisters and the Workaholics have always been a mystery to me.  It seems so complicated.  They have such an ebb and flow of battles, full on wars, silent brooding, gossip, jealousies and weird loyalties in times of crisis.  It's like some secret club I can't join. I may have been around for 24+ years but I am definitely not one of THEM. 

My family are very open and COMMUNICATE with each other if there is a problem.  We don't do misunderstandings. We confront it head on and clear it up before it becomes an issue.

They really are a family of miscommunication, misunderstandings, intrigue, gossip and jealousy.  They are competitive.  They are not supportive of each other.  I simply don't understand it.

I am sorting out my boys birthday parties this week.  The Munchkin turns two at the end of the month and then the Little Man turns five at the end of October.  We have a party for each of them every year because that's how the Workaholic wants it (a sign of his birthday party deprived childhood, he tells me).  So last night I thought I'd send my sister in law, who has boys the same age, a quick message about the dates so she could put them in her diary and let the others know for me (they have older kids).  That's when I realised that she had defriended me on Facebook.  I commented on something she posted earlier in the week so I know it was done recently.  I had a quick flick through my friends list and noticed a cousin she sees regularly had also defriended me and another sister in law has never accepted my friend request (Nice, really classy).

So, do I care? Should I care?  What happens now?  Do I still invite them to the birthday parties?  Do I ring and confront the issue or do I brush it under the carpet like they usually do?  It is just so passive aggressive.  I mean even writing this and not confronting it is passive aggressive, so I guess that answers my question.

I am going to confront it head on.

What would you do?

12 comments:

  1. That is tricky indeed. There must be some explanation, however silly it may be. You definitely should confront. After all, you're still married to them. ;)

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  2. I say make your partner do it. It's his idiotic family, and he needs to deal with their crap, not you. It may be a simple misunderstanding, maybe they didn't unfriends you, maybe they deactivated their accounts? If not, it's just rude and they need to explain themselves.

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  3. My son unfriended me on facebook not so long ago... I think he got tired of my wise-ass comments on his posts so I guess I deserved it (...but so did he!)

    I say talk to them, and goodluck!

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  4. That is weird! What did you write in that most recent comment to your SIL???!!

    Good on you for confronting it head on. Let us know how you go...

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  5. don't care and thank me. Those bitches have done you a HUGE FAVOUR! Piss them off and don't worry about them any more. serial.

    I'm an expert and this now.

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  6. Haha! I just googled, "My inlaw unfriended me," and your post came up. My sister in law unfriended me, and my in-laws family sounds like YOUR in-laws family. Maybe they are the same family? I am also treated as an "outsider" after many years of marriage, and they could care less about our kids. I think they are jealous that I am "normal," honest, and don't play games.

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  7. Haha! All. In the end all of the adults, SIL's and BIL's Unfriended me. One couple I've pretty much always thought I was closest to actually blocked me.

    I decided not to confront them, I just don't care enough. The Workaholic told his Dad who is very upset and probably had a go at them en masse, but it was too late by then - I blocked them ALL! LOL! Who needs family like this. We have had wonderful peaceful lives since they disowned us. I still laugh when I see a comment on mutual friends status that are obviously answers to one of them and I can't see the original comment, just the response. I cant help myself I make a comment so I need an answer too... LOL!

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  8. I actually had the same thing happen to me this week. It was the exact same scenario, commented on something earlier this week so I know we were friends then. The next day I was going to send her an online invite the my daughters birthday party, and she was no longer my friend. I emailed her anyways and told her if I said something to offend that I was sorry, but also said that she should call me and tell me what her issue was instead of defriending family. Of course she doesn't answer. I partially think that most of her problem is she is only 20 yrs old, and still acts like a child. After two days of thinking it over, I realize how really dumb she is acting. I have emailed her and said my peace, and since she can't come up with a response it just shows her lack of ability to be mature and reason.

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    Replies
    1. It's ridiculous isn't it? My siblings inlaw did not tell their brother (my husband) that their father was n hospital. He found out by fluke 6 days after he was admitted! Weirdos.

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  9. Same happened to me. Made me giggle since I know they never cared for me and go out of their way to try to offend, ignore, or irk me. They don't give me anything at Christmas but EVERYONE else in the family gets something. One year they actually did give me a gift it was a pair of cheap watches that was an employee service gift...and I don't wear a watch. Their unfriending me just means they don't get photos or videos of my daughter. On ocassion when we do get together they make a point to not speak English and speak Pillapino instead. I just put on headphone and what h TV on my phone. They say they are devoted catholics but I doubt their faith would endorse this unless its their way of excommunicating me. No matter, I will buy a few trips for my family for easter and thanksgiving so we don't need to spend time with them...or Christmas in Hawaii also sounds nice.

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  10. My sister in law did the same she is a selfish person always wants the spotlight even when her mom was on her death bed she was making restaurant reservations. I am glad she unfriended me selfish bit#*!

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  11. My sister in law did the same she is a selfish person always wants the spotlight even when her mom was on her death bed she was making restaurant reservations. I am glad she unfriended me selfish bit#*!

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