Yesterday I put my almost 21 year old cat, Marilla, Miss Kitty, Miss Milly, to sleep.
It was a gut wrenching decision. It has been coming for a long time and quite honestly, should have happened six months ago. I've been struggling to keep up with her incontinence and it has been a massive extra pressure on me on a daily basis. I just couldn't imagine life without her, so I kept cleaning up after her. I've never had to euthanise a pet, it was a big deal. In the end I came home on Friday morning and opened the door to a puddle of poo and I knew it was time. I got straight back in the car and drove to the vets where I sobbed on the receptionist and made the appointment for Saturday morning.
It was so peaceful. I knew it was the right decision.
We took her to my parents house and buried her in there garden with their deceased kitties. The boys insisted. It is turning into a bit of a pet cemetery over there but it's comforting to know she's there. Next time we visit, my brother or my Dad will have made her a grave marker and the boys will have a chat to her.
|The boys say good bye.|
She was an amazing cat. We were blessed to have her in our lives for so long. She mothered us all when we needed it, she loved people, let my kids, my nieces and nephews do whatever they wanted to her and she was a fighter. Man was she a fighter!
She had a range of health issues over the years because of her start in life as a breeding queen in an overcrowded colony, but even though the vets left me with her at least 4 times over the years because she was going to die, she would make a miraculous recovery. She's had papers written about her by vet students. Her condition was amazing for her age and I swear she could have gone on a while longer if I could have kept looking after her.
If Marilla taught me anything it was to never give up. Thinking about her over the last 24 hours, it has reminded me of something my Grandmother told the Workaholic when she was in her late 80s when he asked her what she thought the secret to living a long life was.
"I decided I was simply not going to die until I was ready." She had been told in her 50s that she had catastrophic kidney problems and not long to live. She died at home as her favourite TV show finished, just shy of her 90th birthday. I think that was on her terms and almost miraculous.
I hope Marilla is OK with my decision and at peace. She has left a gigantic gap in our family.
Have you struggled with the decision to euthanase a pet?